she was so not down for the gang bang
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
