I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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