They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
