i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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