What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she smelled like a LAN party
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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