Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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