i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
