Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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