My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
