I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
cat food counts as protein by the way
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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