The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
