I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
