i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
