i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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