HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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