dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
