Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
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I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
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I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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