if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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