I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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