We're like a lot better than the average bears
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.