I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.