At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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