You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
