Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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