i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
