i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
