i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
