Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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