Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
