Where did you get a picture of my penis
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I need a hoe opinion
go on
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
