I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize