go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
