You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
