dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
