hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
