Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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