i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
