This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
