my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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