i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
there is glitter all over my balls
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