Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
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Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
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Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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