People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
