Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
