this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
