on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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