you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
