Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize