i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
