So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I got inside last night via doggy door
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
