they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
