is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
