Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
