awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
