ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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