You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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