what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
